The sounds of the wedding march are long gone, and the sparkling happiness in the eyes of the newlyweds faded. The festivity quickly drowned in the everyday life of family problems. It is almost impossible to believe that after taking vows of eternal love and loyalty, a once-loving marriage is on the verge of divorce. We all know how it ends, but what happens next? How do you pick up the pieces of your life and find your new path?
All people cope with the post-divorce period differently. Most experience sadness and melancholy. They spend a considerable amount of time and effort returning to a healthy life. The most important thing at such moments is to avoid self-pity. Tell yourself you made the right choice. You deserve to be happy. Don’t shut yourself off from the flow of life. Go out to events in your area. Meet new people, read books, watch movies. Spend as much time as possible outside your home.
A survey conducted by OnlineDivorce.com interviewed 1067 people who had divorced over the past five years. The aim was to find out how they spend their first year after separation. The survey showed that 37% went on a trip, 35% dove into work and built a career, 19% found new hobbies, and 9% started volunteering.
Let’s take a closer look at each of these activities and determine how they can speed up recovery after divorce.
Traveling is more than just changing places. If properly organized, a trip can solve your problems, fulfill your desires, and even change your life. When you travel, you do what you want, not what your daily life requires you to do.
Travel stimulates our intelligence. We become more flexible and curious. During the trip, we live more intensively and feel like adventurers, nomads, and artists. We get to know ourselves better when far away from our daily responsibilities.
Being on a journey is similar to “reprogramming.” We get acquainted with a new culture and new people, enriching our inner world, and creating a new domain in which our problems become relatively less significant.
Excellent options could include an excursion abroad or a tour to a ski resort. Scuba diving, swimming with dolphins, a photo session on the Cote d’Azur or small streets of Europe are all perfect opportunities for self-reflection.
An excellent example of post-divorce tourism was the movie Eat Pray Love with Julia Roberts based on the book by Elizabeth Gilbert. The plot is built around the heroine, who realizes that she is not living the life she wants to live, and after a divorce, she goes on a journey. In Italy, she heals the soul with portions of pasta, in India, she learns mindfulness, and in Bali, she meets love.
For many, divorce is a good shake-up and a career stimulus. Many divorced people plunge headlong into work to relieve stress after a divorce, and half of them admit that it was the breakup that pushed them to make positive career changes. They change their approach to work, get additional training, or do something they did not have the time or courage to do before.
In this regard, loneliness can be positive since it is easier to make a career for people who are not occupied with family concerns. As you work on self-development, you will not only find harmony but also achieve more success.
Life is more enjoyable when you understand what result you want to get. You will excel in implementing your plans if you have a clear vision of achieving your goals and act following this vision, flexibly reacting to changing conditions.
Anna Murdoch, Ivana Trump, Irina Abramovich, and Heather Mills would have continued to live in the shadow of their brilliant spouses, if not for the divorce. Now they are rich and free. J.K. Rowling wrote her first book after a divorce from her husband because she barely had enough money to provide for herself and her child. The world-famous writer of detective stories Agatha Christie realized her talent after a divorce from her cheating husband.
After a lengthy and challenging divorce, people sometimes find themselves in entirely new activities. The most important determining factor in your divorce recovery is your inner peace.
When starting a new life, remember what you were passionate about in your youth, or find a new hobby that will make you happy. You can practice dancing, painting, embroidery, or playing volleyball. Anything that brings you joy and makes you forget about your problems.
Try something you’ve never tried or didn’t dare to do before. You can come up with an atypical activity, entertainment, or hobby. The most important thing is that this process is fun and exciting.
For example, after a divorce, Brad Pitt took up sculpting at the studio of the famous British sculptor Thomas Houseago located in Los Angeles. These activities helped him cope with the loneliness that befell him after separating from his family.
You can sing, cook, collect antiques, or design jewelry. If you want to find a job to your liking and decide how to spend your time best, try different things. Remember that life is fantastic, and there is always room for new events and development. Therefore, it is worth using all the opportunities to do what you want finally.
All of us react differently to divorce. Some go headlong into work, and others plunge into raising children. And some have a lot of free time, emptiness in the soul, and a desire to take care of someone.
People join volunteer movements to help children, improve the ecology, or participate in sports and cultural events. Why do they engage in such activities? The feeling that you helped someone and made a person a little bit happier is indescribable. Volunteering teaches us to look at the world differently, appreciate what we have, and enjoy simple things.
Participation in volunteer programs changes the world for the better and improves each individual’s quality of life. Thanks to volunteers, help is received by those who would never have received a decent living in other circumstances. Volunteering is a powerful personal development tool. After all, when we take responsibility for something, we begin to move forward at a significant speed.
Volunteering allows us to gain unique experience and knowledge, meet outstanding people, find passion, and make the world a better place.
Divorce is often considered a last resort that should be avoided at all costs. But there are situations in which it is the only right decision for both parties. About half of all divorcing people do not have serious relationship problems — for them, the relationship itself becomes a problem.
If you think about it, a divorce, no matter how tragic it was, is just the end of something before starting something else. So forget about wasted time or lost opportunities in the past. The whole world is in front of you, and there is a reason to change your life.