I have questions about this disturbing Jeff Bezos action figure
iCrowd Newswire - Jul 16, 2019
Last year, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos tweeted a picture of himself at his Mars 2018 conference, walking alongside one of Boston Dynamic’s Spot robots. Now, a toy company has provided a super-detailed, posable action figure of the world’s richest man, which you can conceivably find, purchase, and keep in your home for reasons we have yet to discern.
A company called Ntwrk, a “mobile-first shopping” app, apparently sent the toy to a bunch of tech journalists, although I can’t seem to find any more information on this particular toy, which is perhaps a good thing considering it is disturbingly creepy.
In the meantime, I have questions. Twenty-seven of them, to be exact.
Why does a super-detailed, posable action figure of Amazon’s CEO exist?
What ill deed did we do to deserve this?
Why was this sent to me in the first place?
Who thought this was a good idea?
What was the pitch meeting for this product like?
Who was in the room that approved this concept and began development?
How do you go about acquiring the likeness of the world’s richest man to produce an action figure?
Was Jeff Bezos consulted at any point in the design and development process?
If so, what were his notes?
What was the expression on Bezos’ face when someone brought up the topic to him?
Who was the first person to tell Bezos about this?
Did Bezos get one of his own?
If so, does he still have it?
Why is it so jacked? (That one may actually have an answer.)
Why does it have bulging veins?
How accurate are the muscles, and what access was provided to Bezos to ensure their accuracy?
Who would buy this?
What level of Amazon / Bezos fan do you have to be to buy one of these?
If I bought one, where would I keep it in my house?
Is this something my child should play with?
Can I buy the Spot robot without the Bezos figure?
Bezos has tweeted pictures of himself playing with other robots. Will there be a follow-up release?
Will it come with other accessories, like a scale version of an Amazon Echo or a Blue Origin rocket?
When commercial space travel becomes more widespread, will someone bring toy Bezos into space?
If Toy Story were real, what would his relationship be like with the rest of the toys in Andy’s room?
Should I commission a miniature Star Trek: Next Generation costume to turn it into a low-rent Jean Luc Picard?
Why do its eyes seem to follow me when I walk across the room?